Some Things Are Not What They Seem

There’s an expression used in computer programming that always reassures me when I’m trying to create a new website.  The phrase in question is often shortened to WYSIWYG—pronounced Wizzy Wig.  It stands for “What You See Is What You Get.”  When you’re dealing with computer graphics, fonts and typefaces, formatting, and hyphenation, there’s nothing more reassuring than knowing that what you’re writing up on screen will be exactly how it comes out when you publish it online.  We like to know what we’re getting, so when we can see it in advance, when what we see is actually what we get—it’s a good feeling!

If only people were like that!  Unfortunately, when we’re dealing with real-life human beings, what you see is never what you get.  We know people only superficially, and we remain blissfully ignorant of the multiple facets of their personality which are hidden from us.  Even when we get to know someone intimately, such as a spouse with whom we’ve lived for many many years, it happens now and again that they will do something unexpected, or behave in a way we’ve never seen before.  These “out-of-character” moments serve to show us that we can never really and truly know someone.

It’s the same thing when we present ourselves to other people.  With people we don’t know very well, we usually put on a façade of polite good humor, avoiding conflict if possible, and keeping conversations on the up and up.  If we’re having a “bad-hair day” though, our tolerance for stupidity, ignorance or bad breeding might be a little less on display, and we might get a little snarky and rude.  But neither of these two sides of our character defines us for who we truly are.  In fact, we’re so complex that we sometimes even act in ways that surprise ourselves, maybe even horrify us, and we realize that only God knows us for what we truly are.

Some people we might like, others we might detest.  But are they really the people we think they are?  What life experiences have they encountered to make them the way they appear?  What influences have been brought to bear upon them during their formative years?  What genetic flukes of nature have made them saints or psychopaths through no merit or fault of their own?  And no, I’m not trying to say that everything we do is pre-determined by factors outside our control.  We have free will and must always use it responsibly.  There are people who are saints.  And there are people who are truly evil.  My point is simply this, that while we know a holy or an evil act when we see it, we do not necessarily know a holy or an evil person when we see them. Things aren’t always what they seem, and people are never exactly as they appear to be.

For this reason, our blessed Lord gave us a very basic guideline for knowing people as well as we possibly can.  He tells us that we will know them by their fruit.  “A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.”  If we feel we should try to get to know a person, we should take the time to examine the fruits they have produced.  It’s why people put their “good fruits” on their resumé, so that any potential employers get to see what they’ve already done elsewhere.  When they’re interviewed for a job, they dress smartly and speak courteously, trying to put on a good show, hoping to give the interviewer a good impression (maybe a false impression) of how wonderful they are.  But potential employers and college admission officers are hopefully not so easily taken in.  They read the resumés, they check out the references, they talk to previous employers, and so on, trying to get a better glimpse into who we truly are.  And even then, they’re often disappointed.

I would hope young people would take the same care in choosing their future husbands and wives.  If an employer goes to great lengths to make sure he’s getting someone trustworthy, hardworking, and responsible, surely we’ll be even more careful when it comes time to choose the person we’re going to spend the rest of our lives with.  How depressing it is to see young people rush into marriage with unworthy partners, just because they’re pretty or handsome, just because they have lots of money and a promising career, just because of superficial reasons that nearly always turn out to be irrelevant or worse!  This sad lack of preparation is one of the many reasons there are so many divorces today, even among Catholics.  We take an irreversible step without knowing what we’re getting into until it’s too late.

They say you can’t judge a book by its cover, and they’re right.  It might give us some idea of a person’s character if their face is so covered with earrings and nose rings and tongue rings and eyebrow rings that you don’t even know what they look like.  Sure, we can make certain conclusions by the tiny amount of skin showing between their tattoos.  These people do us a favor by outwardly wearing their wolf’s clothing.  More usually though, we need to be more vigilant.  Our Lord warned us of this: “Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravening wolves.”  Priests and Popes who come to us proclaiming the love of our fellow man while at the same time they blaspheme against God by denying the truths of our faith, these are false prophets whom we must avoid.  They might look like a pope, they might walk like a pope, but if they don’t talk like a pope, then believe me, they’re not a pope.  At least, they’re not a pope to whom we can submit and trust our eternal salvation.  Beware of false prophets.

Be careful though, because this word of warning from our Lord can go both ways.  People we think are horribly evil may be simply ignorant or intellectually lazy.  Maybe they haven’t been sufficiently educated to know what’s right and wrong, maybe their environment has led them into moral assumptions that would be abhorrent to the normal person.  Again, I’m not trying to make excuses for bad behavior—we have a conscience and an instinctive knowledge of the natural law, and if we choose to do a bad thing, we are still responsible for it.  But only God knows the extent of our moral guilt and what motivates us to act in a certain way.  He understands what mitigating circumstances may have made us an easier prey for the Devil’s temptations.  We human judges can never know all these circumstances, and it is for this reason we must never judge a person’s soul, and why we’re unable to grasp all the detailed motivations why they behave the way they do.  We are always permitted, and even encouraged, to judge a person’s behavior.  We can know that such and such an action is morally good or bad.  But we can never judge their soul; that’s something that must be left to God alone.  The best thing we can do is to use our prudence in avoiding those who do more than their fair share of bad things, befriending those who do good.  But even then, judge not, lest ye be judged.  And judged we will be.  By a judge who knows everything we’ve ever done…  Lord, have mercy upon us!