Patience Is A Virtue
How many times in our life have we been admonished by those familiar words, “Patience is a virtue”? We remember those days well, when a loving but firm parent would not give us what we wanted the second we asked for it, but would teach us how to be patient by making us wait until a more appropriate time. “Mommy, I want ice cream.” “Just wait a little while, Johnny.” “Mommy, I want ice cream now!” “You have to wait until after dinner. Remember, dear, patience is a virtue!”
As children we got the impression that this idea of “patience” was all about waiting for something we want but can’t get right away. In truth though, patience is not the ability to wait, but how you act while you’re waiting. It’s an important difference, and one we often forget. By practicing patience, we are essentially going against our instincts, and in particular that most base of elements in our human nature that wants to do whatever we want whenever we want to do it. The idea of instant gratification is one that, unfortunately, has been enabled more and more by our modern culture and the advances of technology. We want to communicate to someone in Australia? Simple! Text them! We want dinner? Throw something in the microwave! It’s so easy these days to have every little whim satisfied as soon as it rears its head. No wonder young people don’t want to wait to get married before enjoying the joys of married life. No wonder illegal immigrants flood across the border instead of going through the lengthy bureaucratic of applying for citizenship. Nobody wants to wait for anything anymore. We want it, and we want it now!
The upholding of patience as a virtue has been an ongoing struggle throughout history. It’s something everyone struggles with, including our earliest ancestors. We have an unpleasant tendency to become agitated if we can’t get what we want right away. But the good news is that, because it’s a virtue, it’s something that we learn over time. The more we practice patience, the less likely we are to become agitated when forced to wait for something or when we can’t get our own way. And as many have pointed out, mastering this virtue will make for a happier life. Think about it—how much misery do we cause ourselves by our inability to tolerate the faults of others? How often do we “lose our patience” with our spouses, with our children, even with other drivers on the road? They don’t behave the way we want, but rather than just tolerating it, or going through the tiresome procedure of explaining what you want of them, perhaps over and over again, you just get throw your hands in the air and vent your anger on them instead, losing your patience in the process.
Just how do we go about learning how to be patient? A good way is by examining the wait itself. Why are we waiting? What is it about our inability to gratify ourselves now that we find so annoying? There is always some perceived evil in having to wait that drives us to impatience. But is that perceived evil a real evil? Or is it something that simply gets in the way of our instant gratification, something that is maybe even useful?
We have examples of impatience in Holy Scripture. St. Peter couldn’t wait for our Lord to triumph over his enemies, so in his impatience he cut off the ear of the High Priest’s servant. He hadn’t realized that for Christ to triumph over the grave, he had first to die. For him to triumph over the sins of mankind, he had first to make reparation for them. To St. Peter, and even still, to us here today, there is a definite perceived evil about the Passion and Death of our Lord. We wonder why it’s called “Good” Friday. Would we have been patient enough, would we have displayed the heroic patience necessary to stand at the foot of the Cross and patiently wait for our Lord to die. Very few were able to bring themselves to do so.
In today’s Gospel, our Lord gives us another example, that of the expectant mother. She is fearful of the approaching day of delivery and the inevitable pain and suffering that go with it. She would like nothing more than to get it over with, to hold her newborn baby in her arms with all the pains of childbirth behind her. But that months-long waiting period must first be endured to give the baby time to grow and mature within her. And so she must be patient.
So often, these waiting periods are perceived by us as something bad, something we shouldn’t have to put up with. But in truth, they are generally there for a reason, and we must try to come to terms with whatever that reason might be. We should learn to recognize that without the wait, we wouldn’t be sufficiently prepared for the reward that is finally ours. We must endure patiently whatever this world has in store for us, so that we might merit heaven through this very patience. Perhaps God wants us to wait or to tolerate the faults of others just so we can acquire a higher degree of patience. Rather than complaining and whining about every little problem that stands in our way, we should learn to appreciate it as our opportunity to practice the virtue of patience, accepting what we cannot change, and finding whatever merits we can in the difficulties we face. Look for the benefits of the wait, the potential reparation for our sins, the offering up of our frustration for the Poor Souls or those in need. Weigh the advantages of being temporarily deprived so that you may better enjoy the finished product.
If we’re too impatient to wait for the Thanksgiving turkey to cook properly, we soon find out that we’ll be eating raw turkey! We will eventually learn how to be patient. But if we’re too impatient to learn patience here, we’ll be forced to learn it during our stay in Purgatory where all our sins of impatience will be burnt out of our system one way or another. We’ll know the virtue of having to endure its pains in reparation for our sins, we’ll accept the necessity of waiting while we’re purged of our unlawful attachments. That’s if we make it to Purgatory. There are some whose sins of impatience rise to far worse crimes—hatred, violence, even murder. It’s certainly a lot easier on us and all those around us if we learn the benefits of patience here. Because if we don’t make it to Purgatory and end up in the fires of the damned, we’ll be looking forward to an eternity of impatience, an infinite writhing of agonized frustration as we know that we forever wait in vain.
It might be an inconvenient truth but it’s a truth nonetheless, that if something is worth having, it’s worth waiting for. And while we wait, let’s remain patient.